Wilbur's Interview

by Valerie Barker


Well, we saved the best for last (me, Wilbur, of course!), so here are my answers to all of the questions you're dying to know!

  1. Your age? 2 years, about 4 months

  2. Your age when came to live with your people? 5 or 6 weeks, Mom's not really sure.

  3. What color is the collar you’re wearing right now? Orange with black "OSU" written on it.

  4. Who is your favorite person other than the people you live with? my Missouri grandma. She thinks I'm neglected and abused since the furry beasts joined the household, so whenever I see her, I expect spoiling. I try to look neglected and abused.

  5. How much do you weigh? 8.7 pounds at my last visit to the evil place where the people where white coats

  6. Most expensive thing you’ve ever chewed up? My mom's flip flops with the beads.

  7. Do you like other Dogs? No. I haven't met any other ones though.

  8. Who is your best non-human friend? I don't need friends. I'm a loner.

  9. Squeaky Toys or Tennis Balls? Tennis balls, I do like to chase them.

  10. Do you like to be brushed? Actually, I love being furminated.

  11. Peanut Butter or Cheese? Cheese, yummy.

  12. Do your people cut your toenails? Unfortunately yes, but they have to wear protective gear.

  13. Any formal education? Heck no. I do what I want.

  14. Couch potato or Energizer Bunny? Energizer bunny. I love to run around and jump on things.

  15. Five nicknames your people call you. Wilbur Dilbur, The Wilbinator, Wilbster, Kitty Pie, Evil Genius

  16. What is your best trick? fetching

  17. Do you like kitties? I like myself, so yes.

  18. What did you have for breakfast? 1/3 can of Friskies and some Felidae.

  19. Can you hunt (aka have you ever killed anything living)? I hunt my mom all the time, but I haven't killed her. I've killed some bugs.

  20. When & why was the last time you went to the V.E.T.? In June, I had to get a shot.

  21. Where do you sleep at night? I kind of roam around the house. I sleep on the couch and in my jungle on the plant ledge.

  22. Do you like to swim? No way! Water is yuck!

  23. Can you make puppies? No. The world doesn't need more puppies.

  24. Do you give kisses? No, I give bites though, want one?

  25. Can you potty on command? No, no one commands me to do anything.

  26. To Cuz or not to Cuz? Not. The racket that those toys make when the furry beasts are playing with them is excruciating. I just want to bury them in my litter box!